Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
