I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You ate ashes out of my bong
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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