using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
