i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
my poor anus
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize