how can u be prego again
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
