Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
