Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
