Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
