My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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