Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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