so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
