well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
