I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
