Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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