i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize