So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
