i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
