Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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