I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I did not marry a roomba.
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