if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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