I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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