you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize