i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
