Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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