who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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