why didn't you poke me back
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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