Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
