Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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