You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
