I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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