I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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