yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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