Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
