the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
