omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
