I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
