Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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