Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
