operation harelip BJ is a go
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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