1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
