i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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