I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
you never un-have a 4some
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize