Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
