Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
