What did we do last night that was yellow?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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