My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize