i would punch a child for taco bell
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize