I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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