He disabled his match.com account in front of me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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