Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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