If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
