Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize