garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
