Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
NoShamevember. You game?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
