this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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