i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
