Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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