If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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