Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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