just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
