I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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